Hazel's Birth

The last few weeks of my pregnancy were full of surrender. We were all set to have a homebirth and I was so excited to be going into birth the way that felt so natural and so right for me.

Gavin was born three days after his due date (labor started one day after) and Charlotte was a week and five days early. Around 38 weeks braxton hicks contractions started becoming a very regular thing. Like all day, just tightening though, never anything too painful. I also felt very emotional and needed to process through feelings. I did the same thing before Charlotte was born and recognized the pattern. So for sure it was going to happen soon….right?

Around 39 weeks Hazel dropped low into my pelvis, like really low. As the week went on, I continued to have tightenings throughout the day but as the evening progressed they would have more sensation. Nothing unmanageable, but I could tell my body was doing some work. At 39 weeks and 3 days I picked up a birth pool from our midwife. Kevin set it up (minus the water of course) in our bathroom since we had the space and thought I could be going into labor at anytime.

As the days progressed with lots of uterine activity, I prayed a lot for peace in surrendering to God’s perfect timing. We passed the 40 week mark, I was using the Gentle Birth Tincture and some homeopathy remedies, bouncing on my ball, walking, intimate time with my husband, all the things. Tightenings would increase in regularity and intensity most evenings, but I would go to sleep and nothing would happen. While I was grateful for a full nights rest, it was a little disappointing and very trying on my patience.

More prayers for surrender. The hardest part about this part of pregnancy for me is the unknown. Its really crazy to to think I could have a baby in two hours or two weeks 🤪

I woke up early the morning of February 25th, 40 weeks and 4 days, frustrated that I was still pregnant and labor hadn’t started because tightenings had felt more active the night before. I prayed. I didn’t want to intervene with my body’s natural process, I knew I wouldn’t be pregnant forever. But I also knew that castor oil could nudge things along if my body was ready. “God, I want to surrender to your timing and your plan. Help me to decern if castor oil is the right path”

7:25 am my phone buzzed, it was my midwife, Mary. (btw she’s the absolute best)

We were forecasted to get a lot of snow that evening and if that happened she wouldn’t be able to make it to our house and we would need to go to her birth center if I went into labor. She advised me that this would be a time that castor oil could be helpful and wisely used so that I could have a homebirth. I was ready. She sent me the recipe for midwives brew. I spent some time with my husband to increase oxytocin and promote a soft cervix…they say what gets the baby in gets the baby out 🙈

I got up, dressed, and made breakfast for everyone. I mixed and stared at the not so appetizing looking drink of orange juice, peanut butter, and castor oil. I was feeling some tightenings, more than I normally do in the mornings but didn’t give them much attention. I had been going on two weeks of these sensations, getting excited, then being let down, that I didn’t want to get worked up over it.

9:30am I drank it. It actually wasn’t so bad.

To keep myself distracted I made a batch of mozzarella cheese 😂I didn’t want to be thinking about every little twinge and I had a bunch of milk that needed to be used up. Thankfully it was a Saturday so that meant everyone was home, Gavin went outside with Kevin to cut up a tree that had fallen and our older girls played with Charlotte so I could be by myself. I put on my birth playlist full of worship and calming songs and tuned everything out.

11:41am I was having contractions every few minutes lasting about 45 seconds. Nothing too intense. I didn’t fully believe that it could be happening because I had so many start and stop episodes in the last week. When I was in labor with Gavin I had contractions every 4-5 minutes for like 36 hours. “Maybe it happening, maybe it’s not. Maybe it will be a few hours, maybe it will be a few days” I told Kevin. But I also told him not to leave. Something inside me thought it really could be happening but I was worried about being let down.

12:00pm I talked to Mary on the phone so she could hear me through the contractions, they were definitely increasing in intensity compared to the morning. but I could still talk through them fine. We decided to have her come over in an hour unless anything changed.

1:00pm Mary and her student, Marley arrived at my house. I still was uncertain if it was labor getting started. I agreed to a cervix check and a membrane sweep to see how active my body really was and to maybe nudge it along a little. I was 4cm dilated, 80% effaced, and -2 station. We agreed that there was still some time and that I would rest and keep them posted on any changes. They left at 1:45pm

I take cervical checks with a grain of salt. They do show if there is progression, but there is no timeline for labor. Women can be 4cm dilated for a week, or go from 4 to 10 in a couple hours and anything in between. I am careful with when I consent to them because of this and I say consent because it should always be something that is discussed prior to happening. In this situation, a cervical check helped me to recognize that early labor had started even though I still had moments of not believing it later on.

1:45pm Our midwives left, Gavin and Charlotte went down for a nap, and Kevin went out to cut wood. He gave me a walkie-talkie so I could call him if I needed anything. For the next little bit I bounced and rotated my hips on my birth ball, walked around in my bathroom, listened to music and just let my body do its thing. It was so great just to be by myself in my own little bubble. I was starting to really believe that it was starting.

2:27pm My dad called to check in. I filled him in and said it could still be some time, I was talking through contractions and handling them well but they definitely had some intensity. We talked for under 15 minutes and I had 3 contractions during the conversation. In past labors I always had contractions closer together for awhile so I didn’t think much of the timing. My labor with Gavin was so long and contractions were about 4 minutes apart the whole time and with Charlotte I had a couple hours of contractions that I had to really breathe through. So I just continued to do my thing, casually working on some embroidery when I needed to do something with my hands.

2:48pm I texted my mom that I was ready for her to come keep me company. I had started walking around in my room/bedroom and the intensity was starting to increase, I needed to breathe through contractions but felt like I was handling it well. Labor was underway but still felt like we had time. I was still slightly skeptical though until shortly after she came. Then castor oil really cleared me out (IYKYK) and intensity in contractions began to quickly increase.

3:07pm I texted Mary that my contractions were now about 2 1/2 minutes apart, lasting 45 seconds and I needed to breathe through them.

3:14pm I called her to confirm it was time to come back. “Don’t have a baby before I get there” she said. I laughed and said “oh we still have time!” I called for Kevin to come in and start filling up the birth tub. But of course my walkie-talkie couldn’t call him so I had to send Olivia out.

3:30pm A message of Mary’s sent after we had talked on the phone, I sent a reply of “No worries, see you soon!” Gavin and Charlotte were up from their nap and I was able to send them off with their Papa. Gavin saw me lean over on the bed during a contraction before they left, he got a little worried, but after it passed I was able to let him know that everything was okay, my body was doing the hard work God designed it to do, and that we would be meeting baby sister so soon. (I didn’t realize how soon though!) I was so thankful to have this moment with him.

A contraction washed over me with so much intensity it made me nauseous. I knelt in front of the toilet in the hall bath while Mary and Marley came in the front door and began getting set up in the bedroom. Oh man we were definitely in active labor now!

3:36pm I walked back to our bedroom, paused to breathe through another wave of intensity, I felt pressure and a slight urge to push. “baby is coming” I looked into the bathroom and Kevin filling up the tub “we’re not going to have time to get in there”. (remember, this tub had been pumped up in my bathroom for a week by now😅) Up to this point I had felt very calm even with the change of pace and quick progression of everything. I had a momentary wave of panic because it was all of a sudden happening. More pressure and feeling like I needed to push “Mary, she’s coming!” I got on my knees on our bathroom floor and leaned on my yoga ball. I can’t remember exactly what Mary said or if she said anything at all, but it felt like “I’m here”. I felt a wave of peace in the intensity. This point was a little bit of a blur because I just put my head down and closed my eyes. I felt my mom rubbing my back and Kevin coming back in.

3:42pm I could feel the bag of waters bulging and then relief as they broke. I continued to lean over the ball, collapsing in between contractions. Kevin was sitting on a 5 gallon bucket of paint near my head holding my hand and rubbing my back. At one point between contractions he said “I bet you never thought you’d be pushing out a baby in our crappy bathroom” we all laughed. Our bathroom isn’t that crappy, just very unfinished. I had envisioned laboring in the tub for awhile, with the lights dim and my music on. Definitely not the way things were going but I did have my music and I did feel a lot of peace and support. I can’t remember for the life of me what worship song was playing, but at one point between contractions while breathing deep I could hear Mary singing. God was with us and there was nothing to fear. I just needed to push through (literally) and we would be done soon. I am not going to lie, it felt like my pelvis was splitting in two, but I knew I could handle it. God designed me for this and that’s what I kept thinking of.

3:46pm Two contractions later I felt more pressure “baby’s coming” I said “I can feel her head right there” and oh man could I feel her head. It was intense. It’s referred to as the ring of fire for a reason! I breathed and held her there for a moment. I knew it was about to get more intense and gave myself an internal pep talk. There would be relief soon. We were almost there.

3:53pm head born! Oh relief! I collapsed on the ball to regain some strength.

3:54pm One last big push and Hazel was born with a nuchal hand (hand up on her face) Mary passed her through my legs to me and I got to hold our sweet girl for the first time while she let out a cry. We did it!

4:00pm Mary and Marley helped us climb into bed, Hazel rested on my chest with the cord still attached and twenty minutes later we established a latch. Witnessing the miracle of life is so amazing.

4:30pm It started snowing! A few minutes later my mom cut the cord because it had stopped pulsating.

4:36pm Kevin held Hazel while I worked to deliver the placenta. It took a little bit and there was a piece of the membrane that wasn’t letting go. We opted for a shot of pitocin to help encourage the release of the last bit. Not ideal, but definitely better than risking infection. The pitocin did its thing and I was able to help push out the last small piece. One of my favorite things about working with a midwife is that every step and process is explained and talked about. I was able to give consent to each step instead of it just happening to me. I also got to be in my own space which was so comforting and amazing.

5:00pm For the next hour I rested in bed nursing our sweet babe while Mary and Marley did their assessments and tidied up. We all laughed as I realized how quickly things really progressed and how wrong I was about how much time I had. Had I really said “No worries, see you soon!” less than 30 minutes before she was born?! 😂

6:00pm After an hour of snuggling, I was able to get up and shower (in my own shower - so amazing) while Hazel had her newborn exam. I opted out of all standard newborn treatments (eye ointment, hep b shot, and vitamin k shot) none were necessary for us. Eye ointment is to prevent infection from chlamydia (I didn’t have chlamydia). Hep B shot is to protect from Hepatitis B which can be transmitted by the mother, but I didn’t have Hepatitis B. The vitamin K shot is more than just vitamin K and comes with many risks, including death. Since Hazel had no bruising, no force was needed to assist birth, etc, her risk of bleeding was very low. Mary gave us vitamin K2 drops to use instead. No fuss.

We said goodbye to Mary and Marley. They would be returning in a couple days for a check-up. How amazing is that?! Midwives come to you for that first appointment!

6:30pm We introduced Hazel to all her siblings!

I am so so glad we decided to have a homebirth. It was so wonderful to be in our own space, not worry about driving so early on after baby was born, and climb into my own bed after showering in my own shower. Our midwives were amazing and took such good care of us. They were so mindful of cleaning up fluids and things that would make Kevin nervous (he doesn’t do well with those things). There was no extra fuss over things that didn’t need to be fussed about. Birth is such an amazing natural process that us women are designed for. My baby and I were both healthy and low risk so homebirth was a very fitting choice for us. Knowing what I know now, I can see how things went a little different with my other labors. Not that anyone did anything wrong in particular, but I can see how one event led to the next. Thanks for reading along and letting me share our story! Stay tuned for a postpartum post with all my favorite meals, prepping tips, and more.

If you are in Whatcom County I highly recommend Mary Burgess at Moonbelly Midwifery, her office and birth center are in Lynden which is so convenient for those of us in North Whatcom County